Understanding Domestic Abuse

  What is Abuse?

Abusive relationships can be defined as a pattern of assaultive and coercive behavior between two people in an intimate relationship – including couples who are married or unmarried. Types of abuse can include physical, emotional, social, economic, sexual and spiritual.

Signs of an Abusive Relationship
How do you know if you are in an Abusive Relationship?
What is Economic Abuse?

 

Signs of an Abusive Relationship

Domestic abuse involves power and control. It’s not an anger management issue. It’s an escalating pattern of behavior designed to intimidate and control a victim. Click on these abusive behaviors to learn more.

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How do you know if you are in an Abusive Relationship?

Here are some warning signs that a relationship could be abusive.

Does your partner:

• Insult you in public and private?
• Constantly check up on you?
• Control what you do, who you see or talk to, or where you go?
• Put down your family and friends?
• Tell you jealousy is a sign of love?
• Shove, slap or hit you?
• Blame you for the abuse?
• Limit where you go and what you do?
• Try to control your money?
• Destroy your belongings?
• Threaten you, your family or pets–or threaten to hurt himself/herself?
• Touch you or act in ways that scare you?
• Tell you your fears are not important?
• Make all the decisions?

Because of your intimate relationship, do you:

• Get to work late due to problems with your partner?
• Have to hide bruises from your boss or co–workers?
• Find yourself frequently absent from work due to problems in your intimate relationship?
• Frequently break appointments with friends or family?
• Make excuses for your partner's behavior?
• Tell your boss or co–workers not to mention certain things in front of your intimate partner?
• Have difficulty keeping a job?
• Find it hard to concentrate on your job duties?
• Worry about receiving harassing telephone calls, visits, or faxes at work?

If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship. Help is available 24 hours a day by calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline telephone number at 1–800–799–SAFE (7233). (Or call the hotline's TTY number at 1–800–787–3224.)

(Source: Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence)

 

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What is Economic Abuse?

A complex combination of psychological, cultural, religious, familial and economic factors contribute to a victim’s decision to remain in or leave an abusive relationship. However, domestic violence victims frequently cite income, employment and financial stability as the strongest, most immediate deterrents to leaving abusive situations. The devastation of leaving a home, income, benefits and economic security behind are struggles that all victims of domestic violence must overcome, regardless of their education, job skills and personal earning potential, if they are to care for their families and live more safe and secure lives.

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, evidence has shown that women with economic skills are more likely to leave abusive situations and sustain themselves and their families on a long–term basis. Because the path to economic empowerment requires time searching for jobs, participating in job–readiness programs, finding affordable housing and childcare options, repairing credit damaged by abusive partners, and dealing with the day–to–day challenges of taking care of a family, it is not surprising that survivors of domestic violence need unique assistance to become economically secure.

Economic abuse is a tactic used to control a relationship by preventing access to money or other economic resources. It might include:

• Controlling how money is spent
• Withholding money
• Withholding basic living resources, medication or food
• Not allowing the victim to work or earn money
• Stealing the victim’s identity, money, credit or property

To determine whether you are being abused economically, answer these questions below.

Does your partner:

• Steal money from you or your family?
• Force you to give him or her access to your accounts?
• Make you feel as though you don’t have a right to know any details about money or household resources?
• Make financial or investment decisions that affect you or the family without consulting or reaching agreement with you?
• Refuse to include you in important meetings with banks, financial planners or retirement specialists?
• Prevent or forbid you to work or attend school or skill–training sessions?
• Overuse your credit cards or refuse to pay the bills (thus ruining your credit)?
• Force you to file fraudulent tax claims?
• Prevent you from owning or using credit cards or bank cards?
• Withhold physical resources including food, clothes, necessary medications or shelter from you?
• Force you to work in a family business for little or no pay?
• Refuse to work to help support the family?
• Interfere with work performance through harassing and monitoring activities like frequent telephone calls or visits to your workplace?
• Force you to turn over your benefit payments?
• Threaten to report you for “cheating” on your benefits so that your benefits will be cut off, even if you aren’t cheating?
• Force you to cash in, sell or sign over any financial assets or inheritance you own (e.g., bonds, stock or property)?
• Force you to agree to power-of-attorney so he can sign legal documents without your knowledge?

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